rub a dub
I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking and dwelling on what kind of life Finn will lead. It's really up in the air right now, but there is a very good chance he will not have life like you and me. There's a good chance he will need assistance with the things he does throughout his life. There's a good chance he won't be "normal." Then again, he could surprise us all and be completely fine someday. We really just don't know. But Noah and I have planned on Finn being different than most. And we are completely ok with it. Not to say it won't be a struggle and I'm sure we'll have hard times and rough days and moments where we feel discouraged. But we seriously love our baby boy more than you could ever imagine.
You guys, he is so incredible.
The way he works so hard to use his eyes or to move his little weak body. The way he listens so intently to our voices and his favorite songs. How he talks and sings to us like he totally knows what's going on. Utterly incredible. The smallest little improvements and milestones he hits, makes us want to sing praises and give him a thousand kisses.
It's amazing how differently I look at life now and how I view people who are disabled or have to work a little harder at life. I've been watching movies and video clips about people/children with disabilities and it's really opened my eyes. These people are such special spirits. My baby boy is one of these precious spirits sent to our earth to teach us. Finn has taught me more during his first year of life than I've learned throughout my whole life. Every time I watch something that has special needs children or people my eyes well up with tears. Not out of sadness but out of empathy and love. To a certain extent I know what they feel and what their families feel. It's ridiculously hard at times but I could not love Finn more if he were normal. There is something about his sweet spirit that is so warm and perfect. And I hate to say this but when I was younger and even before I had Finn I had a hard time with people with special needs. I didn't know how to relate to them or talk to them. But my how that has changed. I have so much love for these people now. I know God sent me Finn for this specific purpose. These precious people are truly amazing.
I saw this video a few weeks ago. This baby boy was born deaf but received a cochlear implant which fixed his hearing. This video shows the first time he's able to hear and the first thing he hears is his mama's voice. How amazing. I seriously bawled my eyes out when I saw this (and every time I watch it). I think about Finn and if he could see me with 20/20 vision. I imagine his eyes miraculously working one day and him looking at me for first time and smiling. It would be so amazing. This video makes me so happy because I know the mother of this baby has never been happier.
Forgive my random ramblings, I just felt impressed to share my feelings on this humbling subject. It really is amazing what God uses to teach us. In our case it is a sweet little noodle named Finn. And my, how we love our noodle.