This past weekend was not our most favorite of weekends. On Friday we took Finn in to Primary Children's Medical Center for an MRI of his brain. I was extremely nervous as I'm sure, any mother would be. The whole situation was stressful and it seemed as though things just weren't working out in our favor. The whole environment at the hospital doesn't help with the stress. All the monitors, sad parents, sick children, and the hospital smell just seems to add anxiety. Finn had to be sedated for the MRI and it took an hour to get the IV in him for the sedation. The nurses couldn't seem to find a vein and they poked him numerous times until finally they had the IV team come and they finally succeeded. Watching my baby slowly drift off to sleep after they rattled off all the things that could happen to him while under sedation was a scary sight. The MRI was only supposed to take 20-30 minutes but my little rugrat wouldn't hold still in there, even under sedation. They kept giving him more but he still was wiggly. They ended up turning him on his side and that seemed to do the trick. So after being in the MRI for over an hour they finally brought him out to the recovery area and we patiently waited for him to wake up. After about an hour of waiting the nurse came over and helped him wake up. I then fed him which I couldn't wait for! He had to fast 4 hours before the MRI and with all the extra time the process took he ended up going over 8 hours without eating. That made me nervous wreck. 8 hours? That is a long time. After the little buddy ate the nurses took out all his tubes and wires and we finally got to go home. He seemed a little out of it for the next day or so but he is back to his old self now.
We got the results a few hours after the test and they came back normal. Meaning, yes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with is brain. Going into it I knew that was going to happen. I could just feel it. But I'm glad we did it just to rule out a few possible issues and I'm glad it's over and done with.
Today we met with a neurologist. When we made our initial appointment to see this woman we couldn't get in until March. But luckily our pediatrician pulled some strings and got us in today which was great. But of course she couldn't diagnose him with anything and she didn't know what was wrong so she referred us onto the next specialist which is a geneticist. That seems to be the trend. Dr. So and So doesn't know what the problem is so they send us on the the next person. I just feel that nobody is going to be able to find out what is wrong with Finn and we just need to let him be. I'm a firm believer in miracles and I know God works in mysterious ways.
Noah and I are starting to get burnt out from all the doctors visits. Last week we were at 3 different appointments. This week we have 6 different appointments with different doctors and specialists. It's starting to become a bit overbearing. Parts of us want to find out what the problem may be and go to all these specialists. The other parts of us want to stop with all the doctors and let Finn do his thing. I think we're coming up on a turning point where one of those options need to be carried out. I'm not sure which road we'll take yet.
I know all of this is happening for a reason. I don't know what that reason is at the moment but I'm trying to keep my eyes on the prize and not get too discouraged. It just seems like there are so many issues with Finn and not one of them can be resolved at this point. (His crying spells have returned). I'm not sure what God has in store for us or Finn but I'm hoping and praying for a few good outcomes to head our way. I know it will all be ok though. Even if there is something really wrong with Finn and even if it affects him for the rest of his life, it will be ok because we will learn how to deal with it and we will grow from it I'm sure. I'm just grateful that we have our son and other than his development, he is healthy. Being in that hospital the other day really reminded me of how grateful I really am. There were so many children and families there who have it so much worse than we do.
We love our Finny more than anything and as Mr. Marley would say, "Everything little thing, is gonna be alright."